I am a Global Citizen and I’m on a Journey of Self Discovery
Written by a Community Member
With International Pronouns Day approaching, I took the time to reflect on my pronouns and how they’ve changed in my process of self-discovery and gender exploration. International Pronouns Day sheds light on the importance of personal pronouns when referring to someone and being respectful of one’s gender identity.
Gender is separate from physical anatomy or appearance. Society tends to think in a binary manner by coining gender as simply male or female, just like “yes” or “no”. However, I’ve come to learn how gender identity is fluid, subjective, and a spectrum through my own experience.
Growing up in a religious household, topics of gender and sexuality were never discussed. I struggled to navigate and balance sexuality, gender, and religion as a teenager. Social media was my only exposure to the 2SLGBTQ+ community. It taught me about the different types of pronouns outside the binary (“she/hers” and “he/him”) and exposed me to gender-neutral pronouns like “they/them” and “ze/zim”.
For the majority of my life, I have used she/her pronouns because I thought that if people perceive me as female, that must be who I am. My understanding of gender was limited to male or female. I didn’t know that I could step outside that. Over the past two years, I have given myself a chance to learn about gender-queer and non-binary identities. I’ve realized that some days I like going by they/them pronouns instead of she/her.
To me, my pronouns symbolize how I want to be perceived and how I perceive myself in terms of gender. It’s important to use someone’s pronouns so that they feel safe, included, and respected. Pronouns are a tool for gender expression and it’s okay if they change.
As a queer Muslim who is slowly exploring gender fluidity, it took me a long time to become comfortable using they/them pronouns in brave spaces or with a few close friends. Make sure to ask people their pronouns and in which settings they would like you to use them. Not everyone has the privilege of being “out” and brave, and we should be mindful of that fact.
We need to recognize that gender is a spectrum of fluidity that gives you the power to decide how to identify, how to express yourself, and what pronouns work for you. I’m in a process of self-discovery as I extend myself beyond the gender binary, and it’s okay for that journey to take time. On Pronouns Day and every day after, remember to be considerate and inclusive as we honor the diversity and normality of pronouns.